What's it like being beautiful?

I'm sure you have heard the statement "pretty dunce nah go no weh" or "you can't have such a pretty face and speak so poorly". I have heard both, especially the last one. If you read my last blog you'd have learned that I hated the English Language subject, but not only did I hate the subject I hated speaking English too. I avoided speaking English you'd think patois was my first language (technically it is). But why was pretty face associated with speech? Would it have been okay if I was less attractive and spoke patois? I wonder... Growing up I was led to believe that beauty meant how attractive a person was in facial mode. In fact, there were a few instances I was forced to believe by those closest to me that I wasn't beautiful because of how big my forehead was, how my face was structured, how skinny I was, or how big my teeth were. To seal the deal, I was told by a high school "friend" that if it wasn't for my hair I would be dead ass ugly. Those comments dawned on me and managed to play with my self-esteem and became my insecurities for a very long time. When complimented in the outside world for being beautiful, I thought solely my external, because beauty to me meant having a "pretty face or perfect body", and to me, I didn't have either because of what I was told, so there was no way I could be beautiful. If you paused reading for a second and googled "beautiful women" the image search results would show mostly women with long straight hair, eyebrows and makeup on fleek, fair, clear skin, perfectly shaped teeth and lips, and bold eyes. Beauty is what is visually apparent. At least, that's what we were led to believe.

Society, culture, beliefs, and opinions have all played an integral role in defining what beauty is or what it should be, and because of this many have lived with the misconception that beauty is external. Growing up I didn't know what it meant to be beautiful. Hence, when criticized for the things that made me physically attractive, I felt ugly. We weren't taught beauty meant having and portraying good character traits, some of us had to learn on our own. Although I grew beyond the idea that beauty means having a pretty face, I was intrigued by the thought that people still think that beauty is solely external that I decided to test the theory. I asked some ladies what beauty meant to them and the outcome was even better than I presumed.

(The responses will remain anonymous out of respect for their privacy)

"For me, beauty is how good the heart of a person is."

"The characteristics of a person that makes their aura inviting and in some cases comfortable."

"Feeling the best while wearing the best."

"Beauty is the mindset, what you think, and how you react to certain situations. A person can be ugly on the outside but they have a beautiful heart which eventually makes them beautiful. Beauty isn't the physical, it's the spiritual being."

"Being able to love yourself and others beyond flaws and imperfections."

"Beauty to me is far beyond having a nice facial feature or body feature in general. True beauty is having a good character, extending love and care to those who are around you. Being beautiful is making others feel accepted and not less of themselves. Good looks is one thing, but you can be very attractive and an ugly person because of your character.

It was very refreshing to know that beauty meant more than what is physically apparent to these women. In a nutshell, this is what true beauty means to me:

• It is more than grooming your hair, adding makeup and being well dressed

• It isn't just what you look like, but what you feel, think and do

• It is something that is untouchable, it is within

• It is being unique - you don't need to compete with anyone or try to be like anyone

• It is about having the right mindset and confidence to be who you say you are

• It is how well you treat others

• It is how happy you are with who you are

It is rather easy for us to forget what it means to be beautiful and fall into the trap of beauty standards portrayed on social media and photoshopped ads. Don't be distracted. True beauty means having a good character and virtuous traits i.e. Honesty, integrity, compassion, open-mindedness, benevolence, and patience. While it is important to note that beauty is more than what is physically apparent, beauty is all about being confident. Do whatever you need to do to gain that confidence in your own skin but remember a pretty face will fade, a perfect body will change but a beautiful soul will always be a beautiful soul. From a beautiful woman to another beautiful woman, go be beautiful queen.

Thank you for reading my blog. Until next time, take care.