If someone had told me a year ago that all the things that happened this year would happen, I'd probably tell them to shut up, because quite frankly, I wouldn't listen. Yep! That's me. I'm the type of person who will go into any situation with an empty mind; who always wants first-hand experience. I mean, that's what it means to be open-minded, right? Unfortunately, this type of mentality, while good, can sometimes set you up badly. This year was A LOT! A lot of everything I didn't expect to happen, but it was also a lot of everything I am happy happened. Amidst the challenges, disappointments, and what felt like "failures", and while I wish I could control, alt, and delete 2022 and start anew, I am immensely GRATEFUL! Grateful for the lessons, to have lived, and learned. What have I learned though?
Here are 12 Lessons I Learned This Past Year:
1. God is our only constant in life; everything else is temporary
2. Always giving the benefit of the doubt will at some point cost you. As someone who's often practiced this, I can safely say. If you knew who I was 12 or so years ago you'd understand why. Since then, though, I have grown so much, and if someone were to use the old version of who I was to judge who I am now or aiming to be, that would be discouraging. I mean, wouldn't it be for you? With that mindset, I've often tried as best as possible to give people the opportunity I'd love for myself. Sadly, the benefit of the doubt is not enough for those who simply need to touch the hem of Jesus' garment to be completely transformed. More often than not, you'll have to call a situation what it actually is, save yourself the unnecessary drama, and leave people to deal with the demons they are fighting. Don't get me wrong, you can give the benefit of the doubt, but know when to draw the line
3. Trusting God won't always make sense but it is worth it. As some of you know, I recently graduated from Northern Caribbean University (NCU), and "Trusting God even when it doesn't make sense" was my mantra (still is) and pretty much sums up my journey. But when I lost my job in December 2021, 6 months before completing my studies, that got tested. I'm like God, are you for real right now? Are we really doing this right now? Now, when I'm almost finished with school? None of it made sense, but I made up my mind that I'd have to trust God anyway! One of the hardest things I've had to do, but I knew I had to do it. Here I am now, "degreed". 'God fixed me real nice'. Trusting the Big Man won't always make sense, and it doesn't need to. Our job is simply to learn how to trust Him in the most difficult times because it is by far better than worrying
4. Spending time with God won't always feel like reading the Bible. And before you come for me, hear me out. I've had a lot of low days, and on those days, drawing for my bible wasn't it! I felt so spiritually drained. What I found that worked for me was simply tuning in to some worship music, crying out to God, and just talking to Him about how I truly feel. Listen! Some days, you will feel spiritually drained/exhausted, and all you can do is just about anything that brings you closer to God and trust me, that paves the way for a breakthrough. I feel like not much light is shed on this topic of "spiritual exhaustion" because I guess as Christians we're expected to ALWAYS be spiritually "intact". I just want you to know that if you find yourself there, know that you are not alone, and God is still very present, waiting on you to find your way back. Take it one day at a time, one step at a time, and just be patient with yourself
5. Ignoring red flags from an early onset of a relationship or friendship won't make the 'ship' any better. Love alone isn't enough to save a relationship. If you see the signs, don't ignore them, or "give the benefit of the doubt". Address them, and if you realize that you can't live with the issues, whether minor or major, make a run for it. If a lot of us were more straightforward when we see red flags, we wouldn't have to deal with some of the heartbreaks we encounter in our lives. Know what you can and cannot deal with, and be deliberate about it
6. Accept things for what they are and not what you want them to be
7. Boundaries are for you, be deliberate about setting them! Not everyone deserves access to you or some parts of you, no matter how close you are
8. Learn the art of saying NO. The best tool to use to maintain clear-cut boundaries is NO. It says, "This is who I am; this is what I value; this is what I will and will not do. Don't lie, don't make excuses, stop over-explaining yourself; just simply say no to anyone and anything that no longer or will not serve you, and don't feel guilty about it
9. The world is filled with over 8 billion people; not everyone is going to like you, and frankly, not everyone matters. Focus on the ones who do
10. You are not the opinions of other persons, your past, or your mistakes. They help to shape you, but they are not your identity.
11. Every day should be used as an opportunity to be a better version of yourself. There's always something to work on
12. Be PATIENT with yourself: your growth, your healing, your journey
Today, God places a new road before you. But don't get it twisted, a new year isn't the only time in front of you. Truth be told, "the only difference between December 31 and January 1 is that they're just two numbers written in two different papers". With each new day comes an opportunity to be a better you. I hope as we continue to evolve, we will carefully do our introspection, learn from our mistakes, and make the adjustments necessary to blossom into a better version of ourselves, daily.
Here's to still learning and evolving
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